Love the Way You Lie
by Silvermist x
Summary: She can have anyone but all she ever wanted was Edward Cullen... Tanya has the gift of seduction and decides to play that card on Bella's man!  BellaxJacob EdwardxTanya.  R&R! Pretty pleeease with a cherry on top? Yay!
1. Sweet Seduction

**A/N: I have a lot planned for this fic so pleeeeaase review. And keep in mind that I DO NOT OWN THE TWILIGHT SAGA OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS. Because if I did Edward would belong with Mike, Jasper would be mine, Jacob would have Renesme (duh) and Bella would die….but unfortunately I don't own them so we all have to live it.**

**Anyhoo**

**See you at the end of the chapter!**

**Chapter 1: Sweet Seduction**

**Edward's POV**

"Am I not beautiful?" she purred seductively.

I felt my head nod weakly. A name was screaming in my head. A single word, that was my entire life; yet I could not bring myself to remember it. Somewhere in my head, I knew this was wrong, sick, immoral. But my body paid no attention to these mild, incoherent thoughts.

"You have been craving for this haven't you love?" she said softly. And she slowly slipped off her silk wrap. "Well….let _me_ quench those needs."

I opened my mouth to protest but a long finger held me back from speaking. Her other hand stroked the length of my arm.

"I know you want me," she whispered in my ear.

I hesitated for a split second and then finally, with a groan, succumbed to the raw passion…

I stared out at the sun rising out of the huge glass window. Tanya's scent was sweet and strong next to me, but she was gone. I watched the last 24 hours play back in my head with sharp clarity. The memory was like acid, it burned me to see it.

The guilt was agonizing, the anger overpowering, the hatred I now felt at myself made me want to rip my heart out of my body. I had betrayed her, my true love, the reason for my existence. I deserved to die.

Alice appeared at the door "Edward. Get dressed." Her voice was tight and rigid.

I pulled on my clothes and let her lead me downstairs. I could hear their quiet murmurs in the living room.

The scene that met my eyes was not something I had not been expecting. But it surprised me a little when I saw that it was Rosalie who had her hands around Tanya's throat.

I faced my family, hanging my head in shame. Though it was, nothing compared to what I would have to deal with later.

Carlisle stood up from the sofa and sighed. It was plain in the expression he wore that this was something he did not wish to discuss. Esme was very sad. _How could they? _The thought that rang in her head was like a fresh slap in the face. I longed to hold her close, to beg and plead for her forgiveness. But all I really wanted to do was beg them to kill me.

Carlisle placed a hand lightly on my shoulder. "Son, I think you know that we are not the ones to whom you have to apologize."

"I don't deserve anything from….Bella," her name brought back a thousand things, a thousand promises. All had been shattered in one night.

"Bro, she needs to hear the truth." Emmet said.

"And it should come from you." Alice hissed menacingly.

Her reaction made so much more sense than Carlisle's. Bella was her sister; a part of the Cullen family.

"Edward, you have to." Carlisle gripped my hands tightly "this is something you can't run from."

My voice broke in misery "I'm going to hurt her…again…"

"You should have thought about that before you did it."

Everyone stared at Jasper. It wasn't like him to turn against me this way. His features were hard steel. Like Alice, he was disgusted with me too.

"Oh give him a break" Tanya spoke up louder than was necessary "I could have had any of you. Seduction is my gift." She winked at me conspicuously.

There was a boulder like crash and Tanya was thrown into the piano. Rosalie snarled viciously.

I did not know why, but I acted on an impulse. I simply had to protect her. Before Rosalie could strike again, I crouched defensively in front of Tanya.

"Edward!" Carlisle gasped. It had been too late to stop the growl that escaped my lips.

"You sided with the slut against your own sister!" Alice's tone was aghast. I couldn't meet her eyes. I couldn't look at any of them. Esme sobbed dryly. They all seemed to be in a state of shock.

At last, they breezed out of the room, one by one, without saying a word. Rosalie was the last to leave.

"Rose-" I began but the look on her face caught me off guard. It was hurt rather than furious.

"Save it" she snapped, "I see where your loyalties lie." She shot a murderous glare in Tanya's direction and exited out the front door.

Behind me, I heard Tanya's triumphant, elated thoughts.

"Phew!" she exclaimed dramatically "that was close. Edward I can't thank you enough."

"Get out." My voice was impassive.

"Edward, I-I don't understand…" she stared up at me innocently.

"I said leave. And don't ever come back. You have inflicted enough damage."

She sighed impatiently and in one quick moment, her satin lips crushed down on mine.

"No!" I resisted her with all my strength and pushed her away "You have got to stop this!"

She folded her arms across her chest and pouted.

We stayed like that for a few seconds then heard Bella's truck pulling up to the driveway. She let the engine idle for a while then cut it, and jumped out. Her boots stomped up the porch. I stopped breathing.

"Edward?" she called, letting herself in.

A big, warm smile spread across her face when she saw Tanya.

"Hi" she greeted, blood rising in her cheeks.

I would never be able to live with myself for what I did to her.

"Edward, what's going on? I met Carlisle on my way here…he said something about you having to talk to me…..." she was suddenly tense when she saw the piano and my expression.

Bella walked over to me and wrapped her arms around my neck. She seemed to have forgotten Tanya completely.

"What happened?" she whispered.

Tanya smiled smugly at Bella for a long second. Somehow, I didn't feel inclined to stop her gloating. It felt like I had numbed with ice.

"It's quite obvious." She said, "Edward slept with me."

**A/N: ello again….just wanna say REVIEW OR DIE.**

**That iZ all!**

**xoxo**


	2. Confused

**A/N: Chapter 2 is up! Hope you guys like it and pleaaasee remember to review …it would mean a lot to me..**

**Xoxo**

**Chapter 2: Confused**

**Bella's POV**

I didn't want to look at him. It felt like I was rooted to the spot. Edward and Tanya? Impossible! Or at least I'd thought so. Edward promised…..he promised….My knees gave way and I fell down, down, down into blackness.

"Are you freaking kidding me?" someone said through their teeth. It was a familiar trilling sound.

"Alice I don't have a lot of options." This voice I would always know. The velvet texture, the angel quality, it was my favorite song.

"But you can't leave again!" the other argued, "think of what it did to both of you last time! And besides, she'll probably forgive you. It wasn't really your fault. Just give her some time."

It was a silent for a couple of heartbeats. I yearned for his face, but my eyelids were so heavy.

He took a deep breath. I knew it was Edward because he spoke beside me from my right and Alice's voice carried from somewhere farther to my left.

"Bella…." He whispered tenderly "Bella, I love you."

I felt a thin cold hand squeezing mine. "She'll be okay." Alice said softly. "You guys are going to get through this…" she seemed to be convincing herself for the most part.

"Didn't you see this coming?" Edward asked.

"I have to watch out for a lot of things." She mumbled.

"Why didn't you warn me?" he pressed, there was no emotion in his words.

"You know I was halfway across the country when I saw it."

"You could have called."

"Would that one phone call have made the slightest difference Edward?" her tone was harsh. "Tanya's gift is….like nothing I've ever seen before."

I felt him bury his face in my tangled mane of hair. "Bella you don't know how sorry I am!" His cry of torment rang in my ears. How I wished I could believe that!

"You shouldn't be too hard on yourself. It-it's not right."

I was in full agreement with Alice. He shouldn't be in agony. Yes, he should probably kill Tanya but he shouldn't take it on himself this way. It would take time to accept it, but eventually I know I would forgive him. After all, Edward loved me and only me.

How wrong I was.

"Do you know what the worst part is?"

"Tell me." Alice gripped my hand tighter.

"When….when Rosalie…" it sounded like he couldn't form a sentence. There was so much pain and remorse. I didn't like that. I didn't want Edward in pain.

"Yes?" she probed gently.

"When Rosalie was going to attack her – I felt something. There were….feelings…"

My heart splintered into a million tiny pieces.

Alice did not stir. The seconds ticked by and she remained motionless. So did Edward. As for myself, I was fighting the ache that threatened to break the rest of me.

Slowly, unwillingly I opened my eyes to the familiar, pale room that was Edward's. Both of them were sitting beside me, on either side of the large king-sized bed.

And then Alice raised her tiny right hand and slapped him hard across his face.

She scooped me up lithely in her arms as if I was barely any weight.

"Jerk!" she screeched.

In a split second, we were flying down the stairs and out of the big white mansion.

Alice placed me lightly in her yellow Porsche and slid in the driver's seat.

We fell silent for a while as she raced away from the ancient green forests that bordered the road.

Every muscle in my body ached. I felt tired, like I hadn't slept for a week. But my body was easier to ignore than the ripping sensation in my chest.

We were parked in front of Charlie's house in no time.

"Stay in the car. I'll be right back." She was halfway back to her happy-go-lucky self. She pecked my cheek and dashed to the porch. I closed my eyes, feeling a little dizzy.

I didn't hear her re-enter the car.

Okay!" she said in an excited voice, "we're ready to go!"

I started. "What? Alice where the hell do you think you're taking me!"

She threw a bag to the backseat and rolled her eyes. "Relax, Bella. Charlie can't see you like this so we're going out for a few days for some girl time."

"But-but" I spluttered "Alice where are we going?"

She winked "it's a surprise. But it'll take some time to get there so I suggest you go to sleep."

I sighed. There was no point – I had already lost this one. "What about Charlie?"

"Already taken care of" she sang.

For once, I let it drop. Whatever Alice was planning, I didn't have enough energy to care. Truth be told, I was glad there was something ahead to distract me from the pain….

Slowly I drifted into unconsciousness….into sweeter dreams and happier days…


	3. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!

**A/N: Just to be clear this fic is set somewhere between Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. **

**I know the last chapter has been kinda boring and heavy with emotion, so here's something fun for all my lovely readers. **

**I HEART NYC!**

**Oh yeah…..there isn't going to be any serious Belice action…KEEP THAT IN MIND.**

**Chapter 3: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!**

**Bella's POV**

"I can't believe this," I muttered angrily. "We can't go to New York City!"

"Why not?' Alice asked, closing her eyes and settling comfortably in her seat.

"Because I never signed up for this! When you said 'girl time' I thought it would be shopping in Seattle or something…you…you…I didn't think your range was as wide as the East coast!"

"There is a world of possibilities with me" she sighed, already bored with the subject.

"This isn't happening!" I groaned loudly.

"Stop shouting Bella, people are starting to stare. Just sit tight and enjoy your flight. We'll be there before you know it."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, but we're not staying for more than three days."

Her eyes flew open. "Oh c'mon Bella!" she complained, "What fun would that be?"

"Enough to last a lifetime," I retorted.

She scowled "But you need to get away from Forks!"

"That doesn't mean flying off to New York City. Yes, I need to be away for some time, but a shopping spree is not the solution! And I'm not the type to run away from my problems."

"You're not running away from anything." She reasoned, "I am taking you to an environment where you can think things through clearly. This is to help calm your mind."

I took a deep breath. "Three days, Alice. Take it or leave it."

She stuck her tongue out. "You suck!"

I shrugged "I wanna be home for Christmas."

I collapsed on the huge king-sized bed of our suite, and let my head fall on the soft pillows. I felt stiff after the flight.

"There's no time for that Bella" Alice called from the kitchenette. "We have to get moving."

"In case you forget, I'm human. I have to eat and…shower."

She appeared next to me and pushed my hair out of my face. "I'll call room service. I've already drawn your bath so in the meantime, you go get cleaned up. Your toothbrush is in your bag."

I dragged my feet to the bathroom and sunk my naked body into the hot bath. The hot water, the bubbles, the scented candles…..It was like heaven for my body. I washed myself slowly, not in the slightest bit in a hurry to get shopping with Alice. It was going to be a very long and unpleasant day.

Of course, even though I was relaxed beyond my comprehension of the word itself, it was still a struggle to stop my thoughts going back to Edward….and Tanya.

I had never imagined such a thing could happen. Edward always said I was the love of his life, his one and only, etc, etc. I guess they were just words, void of any real emotion. I wasn't very sure now, whether he even loved me at all. It seemed a distant dream, that day in the meadow when he slipped the engagement ring on my finger. I stared at my left hand, gazing at the pretty stone. There was a promise with this ring, a promise of forever and happily ever after. Now that future was out of my grasp. I couldn't see myself belonging with the Cullen's anymore. And if I didn't belong with my good vampires, where else would I possibly fit in?

The answer came faster than I wanted it too, but Alice interrupted my brief contemplation.

"Dammit Bella!" she rapped the door smartly with her knuckles "you don't usually spend this amount of time in the bathroom!"

"Alright, alright" I grumbled, "keep your pants on…"

Of one fact, I would always be certain: Alice was a fashionista and shopping was a very serious matter to her. I, on the other hand was the complete opposite. As she led me from store to store in Madison Avenue and Soho, I tried my best to look enthusiastic about it. She wanted my opinion on everything from expensive Versace sunglasses to chic Chloe dresses. She had me try on sky-high platforms that had me towering above her (which I refused to let her buy for me). She bought me a number of frilly, girly dresses so she could play dressup when we went back home. My hands and legs were wearied out with exhaustion. At the end of the day, we had visited dozens of boutiques and my back was throbbing painfully.

When we got back to the hotel, I threw the heavy shopping bags on Alice's bed. I sat on the floor, leaning against the wall and putting my head between my knees. I breathed steadily in and out. Alice, as always was in a chipper mood. She danced into the room and sat down beside me.

"You hungry?" she asked.

"No. My head is spinning…"

"You want some Tylenol?"

"That's okay Alice. I'll be fine in a minute.

She seemed to deliberate for a minute. "Okay" she said finally and crossed the room to unload all the crap she bought.

I didn't eat that night and my stomach gurgled hungrily in the morning when I woke up.

"Good morning!" Alice greeted, drawing back the blinds. Like yesterday, the sun was absent, but it wasn't as cloudy.

I yawned loudly and rubbed my eyes. Despite my exhaustion and the warm blankets, I didn't sleep well. I kept having nightmares. They weren't as scary as before, when all the Cullens left, believing it would be for my own safety, but they were still frightening. Right now, I had no idea where Edward and I were standing. I only knew where I was, and that it was the brink of falling apart the way I did when he was gone.

Alice seemed to read my mind. She looked at me sadly; her tawny eyes could have been swimming with moisture, if such a thing were possible.

And then I was suddenly crying. Alice flitted to my side and threw her hands around my neck. I wasn't breaking down, just letting bitter tears flow down my face and stain my cheeks.

"Shhhh Bella its okay." Alice soothed. "You are a strong woman. You'll get through this. Everything will fall into place again. And I'm going to be right here with you."

It felt like hours, though it was probably only within a span of minutes that I finally stopped.

She handed me a handkerchief. I sniffed loudly and peeked up at her. "Was there anywhere you wanted to go in particular today?"

"No" she answered immediately. "We can have fun your way for a change."

"Well…" I hesitated "I've…I've...always wanted to see the Empire State Building…"

"Alrighty then! I'll get breakfast – you go get dressed." She chirped.

I was sure Alice was thinking it was going to be a waste of time but was just trying to be excited about something I wanted to do.

The view from the 86th floor was amazing. I thought I could see forever. I took many pictures so I could send them to Rene. I knew she would hold it against me if I didn't capture this moment on camera.

We went sightseeing the rest of day and weren't even close to seeing everything when Alice announced that we had better go back to the hotel because she had made reservations for dinner and we had to change our clothes.

She persuaded me to wear a navy one-shouldered cocktail dress and stilettos. I didn't dare look at myself in the mirror.

The fancy French restaurant Alice took me to was tasteful and had elegant décor. It was evident when I saw the kind of customers that were served there, that not everyone could afford to eat in that place. I didn't want to look at the cost of the champagne alone. Alice ordered a huge meal for me. I didn't recognize half the things on my plate; it all tasted foreign and exotic to my tongue and I wasn't sure I liked it very much either. Overall, I had a good time though I didn't feel very comfortable.

I was tired, the same way I was yesterday, but I still couldn't sleep without nightmares waking me up at frequent intervals throughout the night.

On our last day, we decided to explore Chinatown. It was very crowded, and everywhere I looked bustled with activity. Colorful storefront signs and awnings covered with Chinese characters lined the streets. I skipped breakfast this morning, so I bought a small bag of sweet, hot Chinese buns and ate them as I walked. It was darker and murkier than ever today, and big rain clouds rolled across the sky, threatening to shed cold drops of water all over NYC.

"Will it rain?" I turned to Alice, who was examining a pink satin jacket.

She closed her eyes for a second. "Yes, and I'd rather we were back at our suite when it does because the sun will come up when it stops."

"Should we leave now?"

She nodded her head. "That's probably best…"

I bought an apple red tank top and we hurried out of the clothing store.

It was probably the best day I had in New York, until Alice dropped another bombshell on me.

"Bella, can you try this on?" she called from the bedroom.

I got up from the couch I was lazing on and went over to her.

"What for?" I asked, taking off my shorts and t-shirt and pulling the tight-fitting sequined mini over my head.

"We're going to a club tonight," she explained obvious to my reaction towards that very word.

"Alice!" I shrieked, "No way am I going to a CLUB!"

"It's our last night. Don't you want to have a little fun?"

"No." I said flatly "Our flight leaves at 7:00 am tomorrow, we can't be out partying late." I paused "Well you can but I can't….I need my rest."

"Please Bella?" she pleaded giving me the puppy-dog eyes "Please? For me?"

I sighed in exasperation "Ugh! No fair Alice!"

"Yay!" she exclaimed and pecked my cheek.

As she polished my face, flipped, and twirled my hair with her curling iron, my chest was filling up with dread. _What was I getting into?_

"Okay pretty girl your ready!" she announced, spinning me around to the mirror.

"What do you think?"

I hardly recognized myself. The mirror reflected back an image of a smokin hot socialite ready to party. My dress complimented my body beautifully, and my legs looked long and sexy. My hair….was that even _my _hair? It was so pretty…..

"Wow" I breathed.

"I knew you would love it!" she squeezed my hand and ghosted out of the bathroom to change.

**A/N: Just a little reminder to please review this chapter. Remember, each one counts and inspires me to write more so PLEASE don't let me down.**

**A big thankyou to all the people who have taken time to read & review! That means a lot to me. Also, a big shout out to all New Yorkers out there!**

**xoxo **

**Luv ya**


	4. Feelings

**A/N: So this is just a small chapter to show you guys what's been going on at Forks while Bella and Alice were in New York. Btw, thank you sooooo much for all your reviews. I promise I will do my best to make this story worthy of positive reviews!**

**Xoxo**

**Chapter 4: Feelings**

**Tanya's POV**

Half of me was in regret about ever starting this whole mess. As hard as it was for me to admit, Edward and Bella were…..practically made for each other. They were magnetic, a force too strong to penetrate deeply. It was so very frustrating!

I was on my way to Carlisle's study for the fifth time this morning so I could apologize, but it flooded my mind again. It was a memory, probably the most beautiful memory I had. Edward holding _me_, Edward touching _me_, Edward's body intertwined with _mine_. Last night had been something I had been fantasizing for so many years. And for it to come true at last! The feeling was surreal; it couldn't be described in words.

But then it dawned on me that, of course, it was just my gift. Nothing else, there was nothing special, just seduction at the height of its power. For those short, unsatisfying hours, I had deluded myself into believing that it was all real. But of course, of course….it was just a foolish thought. What happened with Edward was just meaningless vampire sex.

How could I have ever hoped that maybe if I used my talent on him, his feelings would change? That was stupid. If anything, I should have known that all it would cause is a fight among their family. I hadn't thought about that. I felt truly bad now.

I took a deep breath and stopped short at the door. No, I would apologize to Carlisle and the rest later. The vampire that was hurt the most by my selfish actions was Edward. Slowly, I climbed the stairs one at a time.

I stood very still at the door of Edward's room. Rosalie sat cross-legged at the edge of the bed and Edward was seated on the floor, his head in his hands. I wished desperately that I could take away his pain.

I knew that they were aware of my presence but ignored me completely.

"Would it be possible to give me a minute Rosalie?" I asked, politeness coloring my tone as I fought the desire to smash her into the wall.

She glared angrily at me and gritted her teeth.

"I don't think I can." She replied coldly.

"I wont be long." I insisted.

"It's alright Rose." Edward interjected without looking up.

She clenched her fists, "Fine."

In an instant, I was by his side. Remembering that Edward could read my mind, I decided to speak to him with my thoughts.

_I think you know I come here to tell you how terribly sorry I am for everything._

He nodded once.

_It was very cruel of me to use my power on you. I understand that I have broken the friendship between our covens and I truly hope that someday, you will find it in you to forgive me. Please know my intentions were not to cause any conflicts among you, and if I had, my deepest apologies go out to you and your family. I'm sorry Edward….I'm so sorry…_

His shoulders stiffened.

"Tanya…." He said.

"I'll leave right away." I promised.

He finally lifted his head. His vivid golden eyes stared at me with piercing intensity. I never wanted to look away. I could stay like this till forever ended.

But his face bore a tortured expression and that reminded me that he didn't want me to feel that way.

I stood up and pressed my lips lightly to his forehead.

_Goodbye._

In less than two minutes, my bags were packed, and I was about to leave the Cullen's mansion for eternity.

I had already spoken to Carlisle and Esme. Everything was done. I loaded my possessions in my car and took small human steps to the driver's seat. I slowly put the key in the ignition. Inside me, my still heart was breaking. How could anyone expect me to just pack up, go back to Denali, and leave the man I was so desperately in love with behind me? I can't go back now that I've felt what it would be like to be with him.

"Tanya, wait!"

_Edward?_

He pulled me out of the car. Hesitating for just a split second, he leaned in to let our lips meet. It was over too quick, but very sweet and for once, it was real.


	5. Surprise

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to one of my favorite people in the world – my mommy (who used to be a huge bitch but is now much better).**

**Yeah, yeah, I know…..you don't care. But she appreciates my work!**

**Fine. Whatever.**

**Lets get this show on the road…. **

**Chapter 5: Surprise**

Alice!" I called over the loud music and sauntered carelessly over to her.

She was sitting at the bar, chatting animatedly with a human.

I felt my balance fall and was about to trip when Alice's strong hands steadied me.

"Sit." She ordered.

I ignored her. A slight tinge of nausea was building in my stomach. I was _so_ drunk. Edward would be angry with Alice if he found out.

"Oh well" I giggled.

"Bella, should I take you to the ladies room?" Alice suggested.

"Nooo" I waved her off "I'm perfectly….f-ine."

Her eyes analyzed me with a worried expression. "Okay," she said finally.

"Come dance with me" I addressed the balding middle-aged man sitting next to her.

To my surprise, his cheeks flushed red.

"What did I say?" I asked Alice loudly.

She gave me a look and turned to the man. "Mr. Jenks, this is Isabella Swan."

He held out his hand and I shook it.

"Pleasure to meet you," I said.

"The pleasure is all mine," he responded politely.

I finally sat down with clumsily. "So….how do you two know each other?"

"He's a friend of Jasper's," Alice explained as Mr. Jenks nodded his head, "They go way back."

"That's nice," I said, interestedly.

The smile Mr. Jenks gave me looked like he had toothache. It was clear he didn't want to say much about his relationship with Jasper.

Two things popped in my mind at the same time:

One, normally I didn't pry into people's business but I wanted to know why Jasper of all the vampires, would befriend a human.

Two, I was drunk, so it wouldn't seem too rude to ask him.

"How'd you know Jasper?" I asked him boldly.

He wheezed, "We uh…had some business…together"

"Okay" I don't know why, but it suddenly bored me. I wasn't very curious anymore. "Are you gonna come dance or not?"

"If you want" he said timidly.

"Wait – let's have a few drinks first."

"Alright," he agreed.

Several tequila shots later, I had gotten Mr. Jenks as high as I was. Alice didn't approve. She pulled me aside, "Bella! Why did you make him drink?"

"So he wouldn't be self-conscious…."

She sighed, "I think we should go back to the hotel."

"No way in hell! I'm having fun. I had no idea, up until now that fat old men were so cool!"

She scowled at me.

"C'mon Alice, let's go dance…..all three of us."

"Why did I make you come here?' she groaned.

I had to admit, I was very smug about Alice finally getting a taste of her own medicine.

I lead them to the dance floor and fell into the beat of the music. I couldn't keep track of time, but it felt like barely a few minutes had passed and I suddenly found myself grinding with Mr. Jenks. It was all extremely weird, especially since he was sweating a lot, but I didn't mind. If I stopped, Edward's face would fill my head again and I would feel the wounds in my chest. I didn't like that feeling. It was too close to the hole that had been punched inside me a long time ago. I shook free of the memory. It brought pain along with it.

My stomach felt queasy. "Alice I have to pee really bad!"

She rolled her eyes and then stopped short. "You're starting to look a little green," she noted.

I nodded weakly "can you take me? My legs feel sort of…..numb"

I threw up, once again, violently in the toilet while Alice held my hair back.

"You don't have to see this," I told her. "I can handle myself."

"Bella you're my sister. You're sick and I'm going to take care of you."

"Okay, okay….but I think the nausea has passed so do you mind getting me a piece of gum or something?"

"Sure," She said, and strode sinuously out the door.

We were back at the hotel, after getting a cab for a similarly sick Jenks.

My head was clear again. It felt good to be able to think proper, coherent thoughts. In that moment, I swore I would never touch alcohol again for the rest of my life.

"Here you go Bella," Alice handed me some gum and a glass of water. "Feeling any better?"

"Un-huh"

"It would be best if we allow your stomach to rest for a bit, and then you can have breakfast."

"No, I don't think I'll be eating anything for a while. I can do without breakfast for today."

"Maybe just a cup of coffee later?"

"Maybe…." I repeated.

It wasn't just because I had been puking, but I was also worried about going back home. Was Tanya still living with the Cullens? Where was Edward? Was he alright? Were Rosalie and Jasper giving him a hard time? Would Tanya use her power on Edward again?

Dozens of questions exploded in my mind like fireworks, and I wanted to have them answered, but at the same time, I didn't want to face them. I was too scared to ask even Alice who would no doubt know everything.

I called Charlie before we left so he would know that we were coming early. I felt stable a few hours later, so I bought a couple of doughnuts from the Doughnut Plant in the Lower East Side before we caught our flight. Alice and I didn't speak much throughout the day, and I dozed in and out of uneasy sleep.

I immediately felt light-hearted when we were driving through the streets of Forks. It was raining heavily, but for once, I didn't care. I was home.

Charlie greeted me with a big bear hug.

"Glad your back honey." He said gruffly.

"Me too dad," I smiled warmly.

"How was it?" he asked with a little too much enthusiasm.

That was a bad sign. It definitely meant that something was up.

I eyed him skeptically. "What's going on?"

He sighed in defeat, "I was hoping for it to be a surprise…."

My face fell "what is it?"

"Hey, Bells."

My heart skipped at the familiar sound of his beautiful, husky voice.

Jacob appeared out of the kitchen, and stood by the couch, smiling at me with his loving, brown eyes.

**A/N: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. REMEMBER TO REVIEW.**


	6. An eye for An eye

**A/N: Ouch…..a little harsh there RobSten4ever…but if you think this fic is a waste of space then that is friggin worth writing for.**

**And one more thing, anonymous reviewer lovexbellaxedward, I hate Bella but I write about her a lot simply because I WANT TO. If you have a problem with that deal with it.**

**NOW, where were we?**

**Oh yeah, PLEASE remember to review when your done reading this chapter. I'm desperate.**

**Chapter 6: An eye for An eye**

**Bella's POV**

"Jake you're back!" I ran into his open arms.

It had been so long since I had smelled his deep, woodsy scent. I only just realized now how much I really missed him.

He seemed a little surprised by my reaction but hugged me tighter.

"God, I missed you," he whispered, the hurt in his tone not completely hidden.

I could only hold back the tears.

Charlie cleared his throat noisily "I…uh….I'm going down to the reservation. I'm going fishing with Billy today. You guys want to hang out there?" he paused and then added, "Jacob hasn't even spoken to Billy yet. We were waiting for you."

"No, thanks dad, we're good here," I said automatically, freeing myself from Jacob's embrace and facing Charlie. "We'll meet you there later. I have to unpack and shower….."

He stared at my right hand curled around Jake's like I would never let go. "Alright then, you kids have fun." He clicked his tongue once and shuffled out of the house, closing the door shut behind him.

"Jake!" I couldn't suppress my excitement. He was right here. His presence made me feel complete. It felt like something very heavy had been lifted off my shoulders.

He chuckled "Bella, you're bouncing."

I smacked him playfully "I'm so happy you're here!"

His lips pulled up into a grin "do I get to hang out with you today?"

"Absolutely" I towed him upstairs "Today, I am all yours."

We entered my bedroom and I took my bags from him (which he'd been carrying) and threw it on my bed. To my surprise, it was spotlessly clean. I made a mental note to thank Charlie later. How he had managed it, I had no idea.

"I have to shower," I told Jacob "could you just sit tight for a moment?"

"Okay."

I shivered violently as I took off my clothes and let the hot water soak my body. I closed my eyes and went back to the thought that Alice had interrupted when I was bathing that first day in New York. I knew I could never fit in with humans. It just wasn't in me. I was too crazy. I had seen too many live horror stories. If I belonged anywhere at all, it would be with the monsters and the myths, preferably with my good vampires. But if not them, was there another place for me? Another kind of good monsters I could be with?

Of course there was. I had always known that. Jacob promised he would always be waiting in the wings. I could always be with him if I chose. I could always become a wolf girl again.

But I knew that I would never be completely happy. No matter what, I would always be in love with Edward. He was my drug, my soulmate. I could never survive without him, even if he went off with Tanya.

I stumbled out of the shower and dried myself with quick, hasty movements. I pulled on my underwear and looked around for my clothes.

"Shit" I muttered.

Wrapping a towel under my arms, I sprinted to my room.

_Please let Jake be downstairs,_ I prayed silently.

Poking my head into my room, relief washed over me when I saw that it was empty. I locked the door and pulled on a pale pink t-shirt and jeans.

"Bella?" Jacob called, knocking on the door.

I swung it open and blushed "sorry, I forgot my clothes in here."

His face fell, "Oh."

I tried not to imagine why he looked like he wanted to kick himself for not being in my room a minute ago.

"You hungry?" I asked

"Nah, I'm fine."

I raised my eyebrows skeptically.

He sighed, "I'll eat later."

I went to sit down on the edge of the bed. Jacob followed me in.

"So, what's up?" he asked conversationally.

"Oh nothing" I said casually "just nasty vampire bitches seducing Edward into losing his virginity with them…"

I shouldn't have said it like that, but I was just so mad and upset.

Jacob stood up trembling.

I stood up too.

"Jacob! Hey, it's okay….shhhh….it's alright….please, don't. I-I it came out wrong….please just calm down and let me talk to you!"

".." His voice was low and dangerous when he said this. I cringed at his words.

"Jake, no" I pleaded, "Look at me. I'm so alone right now, and you're making things so much worse! I really need you." I whispered the last part. "Please Jacob."

He stared at me, his eyes blazing with rage.

A long second passed before his face crumpled into pain.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"

I sighed in relief and sat down again "No, Jake. I'm not.

"I love him so much it hurts. And I'm confused and scared because Tanya…."

I couldn't finish what I was saying because I was choking on too many tears. I sobbed into Jacobs's shirt, staining it.

He rubbed my back soothingly. We didn't speak for a long time. All my hurt broke through and I couldn't control myself as emotion after emotion rolled through me. It was so much worse than crying in front of Alice because this time, there was someone else who was hurting beside me.

"Jacob…" I raised my head so I could see his face. There was no trace of pain in his features. All I could see was love and concern. It led to the birth of more tears.

"Jacob…" I said again.

I knew what was coming, but I didn't care. I needed the comfort he would give. I needed his fire.

Our mouths collided with force and passion. I felt his tongue grazing my lower lip as I gave in. I needed to feel loved. I needed this.

He pushed me down on the bed so he could be on top of me. His lips brushed the length of my neck as I tangled my fingers into his hair. I could feel that he wanted this too. There had always been more than just chemistry between us. Ignoring that hadn't done us any good.

He kissed all my tears away and was finally brave enough to tug at my shirt and remove it. I felt ecstatic. My heart was thumping loudly, knowing that I was about to share my soul with somebody else for the first time. And it wasn't just anyone; it was Jacob.

I caught a glimpse of Edward's face in the far corner of my mind one last time before I slowly slid Jacob's pants off…

**A/N: Sometimes I surprise myself….that wasn't even supposed to happen in this chapter.**

**To hell with carefully plotted stories! This one has just taken a course of it's own…!**


	7. Sacrifice

**A/N: Someone said that I put this story in Edward/Bella because I want reviews. Dude, that is so not true! I think I know what I'm doing so if you want to review can you please just tell me your opinion on the chapter? **

**YES, I'm saying Edward and Bella will be together. But not yet. I promise, all Edward/Bella fans, your patience will be rewarded. **

**Anyway my loves….enjoy this chapter!**

**XOxO**

**Chapter 7: Sacrifice**

**Bella's POV**

Since Edward did the exact same thing to me – except in his case he didn't have a choice – I felt horrible and yet, I couldn't bring myself to regret it. Jacob was warm and he loved me. After all the times I rejected him, he still cared for me and only me…..unlike Edward, who now had feelings for Tanya as well.

I had fallen asleep with Jacob, and when I woke, he was gone and I was fully dressed. I curled up into a ball and tried to be as small as possible. It was maddening. I had already made my choice; I chose Edward. But Tanya had to ruin everything. And now, Jacob's pain would increase ten times. It cut me too, knowing that he was probably starting to hope. A hope that would die before it could even spark. It wouldn't be worse than if he were broken-hearted. At least that would save him from the first.

The hours passed by without seeming to stay at all. I sighed as my human needs arose. I unfurled, stretching out my limbs and headed for the bathroom. I stayed in bed for the rest of the day.

I only vaguely remember coming downstairs for meals. Charlie saw that something was up but didn't comment. He probably already decided it was a fight between Edward and me. None of the Cullen's or Jacob called or came over. I was alone most of the time. I didn't care.

On the third night of my depressed and lonely new life, I began to wonder when something was going to happen. Things usually happened to me and I had a feeling that there was going to be something big. It was probably just crazy woman's thinking, but it disturbed me. The answer came exactly a week and a half later.

I froze in shock. There was no way this could be right before my eyes. It had to be a dream. _No!_ I screamed in my head. To my horror, I realized that this was reality. I was having light virginal bleeding when my period wasn't due for another four days and it was always constant. And then the horrifying conclusion sunk in. About ten days ago, I had sex. With a werewolf that was still human enough to….I didn't want to think the word. I was certain Jacob hadn't used protection. We didn't bother about any of the practicalities. All we knew was that we wanted each other.

As that piece of knowledge clicked, a sharp pain shot through my abdomen and I knelt down into the toilet, choking out last night's meal.

"No…." I whispered.

A hard, pounding headache was coming on, preventing me from thinking straight.

I brushed my teeth thoroughly and rinsed with mouthwash. There was only one thing I could do now.

I raced back to my room and changed. Then I hurried downstairs, gobbled up my cereal, and pretended to be okay in front of my dad. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously when I told him, in a high false voice, that I was going out to hang with Jake today.

As I neared the boundary line, my stomach heaved violently and I was just in time to get out and throw up into the bushes. When I was done, I fell back into the hard cement and lay there. I felt numb and alone. Who could help me now? Jacob was too young to take on this kind of responsibility and my vampire family would be too disgusted to take care of me. I was on my own. Abortion was not an option. I was determined not to let my poor baby get harmed in any way.

Barely a minute passed when my ears picked up the purr of a quiet engine, the sound of which I recognized. The sleek, black car that came into view confirmed that it was them. Of course, Alice would have seen me here. The tires squealed to a stop right next to me. Carlisle climbed out and lifted me up gently.

"Bella?" he said softly "would you like to come back to the house with us? You can talk to Jacob Black tomorrow."

I was bewildered. Was he really being kind to me?

"We're not going to leave you," Carlisle placed me gingerly into the comfortable back seat of his Mercedes.

I found my head resting against Alice's cold, stone shoulder.

"Jazz will take your truck home," she told me.

"Why?" I whispered, "Why are you doing this?"

This time, Esme spoke. "Bella, you are family. Whatever you do, we will not abandon you. Someday, you might choose to be alone but until then we're here for you."

"Thank you," I breathed.

"We already know you're pregnant Bella," I flinched at that word, and Carlisle continued "but it would be best to take a urine test just in case."

"Alright," I agreed. I wanted to pee anyway.

Sure enough, the little stick indicated positive. Carlisle nodded solemnly. "Are you sure you want to go through with this?"

"I can't kill a life Carlisle, you know better than that."

"Of course," he looked at me sadly "it's just that you have so much potential and….." he trailed off.

I swallowed the lump that rose up my throat, "I have to do the right thing. I don't know if I'm going to keep this child, but I'm not going to be reason it won't have a chance to live."

At that instant the door to Carlisle's study blasted open, and Edward walked in, his face contorted with fury. He was so beautiful and terrifying at the same time.

"How could you keep this from me?" he exploded.

I shrunk against the wall.

"Why Carlisle?" Edward demanded in rage.

I saw Carlisle raise his hands as a peaceful gesture.

"We wanted to give Bella her space and we only brought her here when we were sure she needed us," I was deeply impressed by how Carlisle could keep his tone calm.

He strode over to my corner and towered over me.

Seizing my wrist, Edward yanked me up.

"Bella what have you done?" he bellowed in agony.

I recoiled from his piercing eyes that flashed with anger. It was frightening.

"How could you do this to me!" He yelled.

I didn't dare to take a breath. His angel's face was inches from mine.

"Edward."

I knew the serenity that I now felt was entirely due to Jasper's special talent, but my features stayed fixed in their petrified lines.

"Stay out of this" Edward threatened, loosening his grip on my wrist.

"Let Bella go, Edward. Leave her alone and run back to Tanya. She isn't your business anymore"

"I said stay out of this," Edward growled.

"Not until you apologize and give your word that you will not hurt her."

Edward stared at his brother incredulously "You think _I_ am going to hurt her?"

"Apparently, so does she" Jasper replied coolly, nodding his head in my direction.

Edward appraised my face and dropped my hand. Anguish touched his eyes.

"Bella?" he whispered kindly.

My voice made no attempt to break through and answer him. I was too scared. A long moment passed.

"Please, sweetheart, please say something," he begged.

I don't know how long we stood like that, staring into each other's face, but it was long enough for me to think about a lot of things. I knew I loved Edward. Nothing would ever change that. But there was a tiny little someone who was chained to my life and I wasn't about to let he or she go.

"Goodbye, Edward."


	8. Sparks Fly

**A/N: THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU TO ALL MY READERS AND REVIEWERS.**

**Chapter 8: Sparks Fly**

**Bella's POV**

"Jacob…..we're pregnant." I choked into the phone.

He was quiet at the end of the line, probably trying to digest it.

"Jacob?"

The line went dead.

_Oh no you don't_, I thought. _You did this to me and you are going to help me with it._

I was firm on that. I didn't care how young he was. This was our child and just because he wasn't going to be bloated didn't mean that he could just leave me.

I fixed myself some sandwiches for lunch and went upstairs to change yet again into something that didn't smell. When I got back home earlier, I had packed all my possessions knowing very well I would be moving into La Push soon enough. I didn't allow myself to go back to that moment with….him. The pain was so sharp. The memory had jagged edges. It was very capable of killing me.

So was this room. It held so many things I had to let go. My instincts screamed at me to get out of there. I could sense myself breaking into the pain; the dying soul that was inside me.

I rushed out of the house into my truck. I had never been more grateful to its deafening roar. I concentrated on going faster and faster. No good, it was too ancient and run-down to give me the speed I desired.

Finally, I was parked in front of the little house where Jacob and Billy lived. It appeared welcoming and cozy. I couldn't wait to get out of this cold fog.

I ran for cover to the porch as big drops of rain started to fall. Billy?" I called, knocking on the door.

It opened and Billy wheeled out with an anxious expression on his face.

"He's not here Bella, I'm sorry."

"Is he with Sam? I can wait…"

"No," he replied sounding worried. "I don't know where Jake is at the moment Bella. After your call he just muttered something about Quil's cat and then ran off." He paused and gazed at me curiously, "He seemed really upset."

My heart sank. He left, again. He's gone.

But whatever little faith I still clung to contradicted me. No, he was just shocked. He would come back. Jacob wouldn't leave me. Jacob wouldn't betray me. Jacob would come back, wrap his arms around me, and take care my baby and me. He had to. We're his family. He would never make me deal with this alone.

I gulped the glass of water that Billy handed me. I hadn't noticed how parched I was. It eased my throat.

"Are you alright Bella?" he asked, his wise old eyes surveying me.

I took a deep breath. He would find out eventually. "Honestly, no." I admitted.

He didn't say anything, and waited for me to speak.

"I-I….I don't want to talk about it," I whispered.

"Alright honey, you can come to me when you're ready."

I nodded, thankful that for once, he didn't push me.

It was too quiet and too lonely in Billy's house. If I stayed any longer, I would be forced to face my thoughts. So I told him I would go to the beach. It wasn't drizzling anymore and it wasn't dry yet either but I needed to get out.

I decided to walk, as driving would take me to the beach faster. I wasn't in a hurry to do anything; I just wanted to escape my emotions. I would give all I had right now to be in someone else's head. Like the werewolves, it would be nice if there was someone else's head to share. Not quite so many as Sam's pack, but two others in my mind would be a relief.

I could see the direction I was going with that, so I channeled it to Charlie instead. How and when will I tell him? He would be terribly angry, and my mother…..I shuddered when I saw what her face would look like when she found out. All her life she had been lecturing me about this very kind of muddle and here I was, right in the middle of it. I had failed her. She had tried so hard to instill in me the lesson she had learnt from her own mistake of jumping into things and I completely ignored it. Would she ever forgive me?

I was in the parking lot now, and to my surprise Seth Clearwater was there.

"Hey Bella," the gangly kid greeted.

I smiled. It felt wrong. "Hi Seth."

He bit his lip and stared at me with the same troubled eyes I had seen in Billy.

He came over to me and patted my long hair awkwardly.

"Jacob went wolf," he said "We…uh, saw what happened. I'm really sorry Bella."

"What? So he's going then? He's just….going to leave again?" I shrieked hysterically.

"I don't know" he was alarmed now "It's alright. Calm down Bella, Sam is going to fix it…"

"How? Is he going to order Jacob to stay with me?" I screamed.

"Relax, he's not going anywhere. No one's leaving you,"

I breathed evenly in and out "I'm sorry Seth", I whispered weakly.

He retreated away from me "I'll go get him right away Bella, stay here."

I watched him run off into the trees.

My sobs rang loudly in my ears as curled up under our driftwood tree. This was another painful place to be in. I dug my fingers into the hard sand and gasped as my soul cried. It was too much….how could anyone take this? Death was so much more inviting. Life was too hard to live with when you live for love. What was I supposed to do? I was just a girl. They should have known I was too young and too vulnerable to be messed with. I could see it all now that they're gone…I had tried to keep up with the fairytales for too long…I had made him my world….

I pulled myself up and started to the water. I stared at the vast sea stretched endlessly beyond me. I willed my legs to move forward and wade in, but they didn't obey me. I stood there, a hand on my belly and waited for another strong blow on my already shattered heart. It had begun to rain and I was drenched in a matter of minutes. I let it wash me, cold and shivering, I knew I wanted to die like this.

Warm…..hot skin held me to his body. He got me with those innocent brown eyes. They were always haunting me in my dreams…..

Jacob kissed me in the pouring rain.

I forgot the cold…..

"Jake, you don't have to do this."

"I won't leave you alone."

**A/N: That last part on the beach was something I experienced so I hope I expressed it in such a way that my readers can feel exactly what Bella did. I tried my best, using my own memory to describe all the hurt as well as I could so I hope that it'll bring more reviews…!**

**Xoxo**


	9. Haunted

**A/N: WARNING – Don't ever fall in love. It can seriously damage your health.**

**Chapter 9: Haunted**

**Bella's POV**

I always knew I walked a fragile line with both Edward and Jacob. That's why I tried very hard with the second so we wouldn't fall apart. Even though Edward's absence pressed on me from all sides, suffocating me and filling the empty hollow in my chest, I put every effort in concealing my misery from Jake. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes he made me really smile and not just pretend. But something still made me hold on to my past. Something still keeps me holding on to nothing.

Every night, I would toss and turn for hours before sleep would arrive. It would always pop into my mind no matter how much I struggled to keep it locked up. It always haunted me before the nightmares came….

_Edward pulled me onto his lap, cradling me against his chest._

_ "What are you thinking?"_

_ I bit my lip, "Oh, nothing" I lied feebly and then blushed._

_ He laughed and rolled his eyes "Why do you even try Bella?"_

_ I didn't look at him, incase my face gave me away. Edward would object to what I was thinking of._

_ He tickled my then flat stomach, "won't you tell me?"_

_ "No."_

_ A thin, cool finger lifted my chin up._

_ "What's wrong, Bella?" he asked._

_ "Nothing. It's just….Tanya."_

_ He sighed._

_ "I don't like the feeling I get around her…" I whispered._

_ He sat very still and gazed at me "Bella you know they are the closest thing we have to-"_

_ "Yes I know Edward!" I ejaculated in exasperation, "I know you guys are family!"_

_ His lips pressed down into a hard line._

_ "I just….think she likes you too much" I finished lamely as Edward started rocking me again._

_Our meadow was beautiful today. The pretty wildflowers danced in the light breeze that had picked up from the west, the sky was that clear cerulean blue that I adored and I had never seen the sun sparkle so brilliantly off Edward's diamond skin. _

_He hummed my lullaby softly in my ear and eased up the tension I felt a moment ago. I liked the way I fit in his arms, like we were sculpted this way. _

"_Do you know how much I love you?" _

_I said nothing and it seemed like he was about to start one of his long, poetic, romantic speeches about how much I meant when I stopped him._

"_Exactly, Edward," I snapped, "I don't want to lose that feeling you have for me."_

_He shook his head vigorously._

"_Bella, you cannot possibly be afraid of that."_

_I placed my hands on either side of his face "That is the very thing I fear. Everything else, I can live through."_

_He kissed my forehead "Bella, nothing can ever take me away from you." _

"_Promise?" I didn't blush at the childish innocence that was profound on that one word._

"_I promise," he whispered._

I added the bed sheet to the tall pile of whites and turned round to face Emily, "I'm sorry, what were you saying?"

She smiled at me, "I was asking whether you've thought of a name for the baby."

"Actually, I've been toying with a few names" I said matter-of-factly, "I don't want to know if its sex is male or female so I've been thinking about some of each."

"And?" she probed.

I bit my lip, "Well, for starters, Kyle for a boy and Kylie if it's a girl...Julian and Gillian, Cecilia, Anthony….those are about it."

"What does Jake think?" she asked, resuming stirring her cake batter.

"He doesn't really….he says it doesn't matter," I admitted truthfully.

"Oh."

I pulled up a chair and sat down. "I get tired around the evenings these days" I said "is that normal?"

"It happens to pregnant women. Not all of them, it depends on your body." Emily answered, sparing me a look to make sure I was alright.

At that moment, Embry, Quil, and Jacob walked in, completely wet from the rain.

Jacob came over to me and pecked my cheek. I smiled in response. He was so sweet, he deserved so much more, and yet he wants me.

"How was your day?" he asked.

"It was great" I said, tired out.

His brows furrowed in the middle "anything wrong?"

"Tired. Sleepy. Backache." I complained, my hormones coming on.

"I can take you back home now….Sam doesn't need me until later…," he offered generously.

'Home' here meaning his place: Charlie exploded into angry torrents and fits when I stuttered it out to him that I was pregnant. He insisted I should still live with him though but I refused, saying I needed to be in La Push with Jake. Rene was a different story. She wept bitterly into the phone but said she would be there for me every step of the way. Like Charlie, she told me to move in with her but I had made up my mind. So she said she would come to Forks but I convinced her that it wasn't necessary; her place was there. And after many long arguments, she finally agreed.

"No thanks," I whispered, "Emily can take care of me."

He was doubtful but trusted Emily, so he didn't say anything more.

By then, Paul, Jared, Sam and Seth (Leah never came) had joined us and we were all seated either around the little table or on stools and chairs by the counter. The cheerful room buzzed with talk and I watched my family joking, laughing, and gobbling up all the food Emily and I had made. It was a very pretty picture and I belonged there with everyone else, but the ghost of my old pale-skinned family still haunted me….

**A/N: Reviews make me happy ;)**

**Xoxo**


	10. Another Promise

**A/N: Wow! I come back from Ireland to find 46 freaking reviews! ;)))) That just made my day =) **

**This chapter's for you V….luv ya**

**Chapter 10: Another Promise**

**Bella's POV**

I stared a disgusted look at the bloated image before me. My ugly reflection in the mirror stared back, as if I revolted it too. I felt mocked at and the tears started to stream.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Jake murmured, entering the room.

"Nothing," I mumbled back, hastily wiping away the wet moisture from my cheeks. I blushed, embarrassed of my stupidity. I was angry at my own reflection for crying out loud. That didn't seem very stabilized. However, it was the fifth month of my pregnancy, and my moods and hormones were expected to swing crazily.

Jacob muffled a laugh, for fear of vexing me, "Alright," he shrugged.

I smiled, despite my irritation. These days, being with Jacob seemed a lot easier to wake up to. His temper was always in check, he always knew what I wanted before I actually spoke it aloud, and not once did he ever complain when he was slapped awake out of sleep in the middle of the night when I needed something. And of course, he made me feel wanted, which was the most beautiful feeling in the world, if you were stuck in a situation like mine.

"Bella?"

"Mmm?"

"Don't worry, you look very pretty….you always do."

I turned to him slowly, disbelief profound on my face; but his eyes said something that I simply trusted his words without knowing it.

Well, I sure as hell was way far from anything close to pretty, but Jacob truly believed I was.

I rolled my eyes "Sure, Jake"

I paused for a minute, then added hesitantly, "Am I dressed right?"

Jacob spared me a glance and got back to tying his shoelaces "yeah, of course. It's not a big wedding Bella; you wouldn't out of place even if you wore jeans."

We made our way across the room to give our congratulations to Sam and Emily, Jacob holding on to my hand firmly. The room was much too small a space to accommodate this many people. No, it was an overstatement to say 'many' people; the only ones here were only close friends and family, but the men were so big, and my belly was bloating (which probably added to the space that shouldn't have been taken up) so it felt congested.

"Congratulations Mrs. Uley!" I gushed, embracing Emily in a big hug, and then placing a kiss on Sam's cheek.

They both smiled widely; a smile that sent a sharp pang through my chest. They were so happy. And I couldn't stop the thought that it was supposed to be the same for me, when I was still Edward's fiancée.

"Thanks!" Emily pulled me back into another hug. I saw that her eyes were glistening. She looked especially beautiful today, even the scar that hindered her pretty face from its full potential seemed like it was nothing. She was so stunning, so slim, and she could still fit in a dress that tight….whereas the fabric would probably rip off if somehow squeezed into me at my present state.

"Oh, Bella…" she murmured into my hair "this is the happiest day of my life...!"

I could only nod.

Jacob squeezed my hand in comfort, and turned to Sam "we'll uh, see you guys later….'kay?"

"Sure" Sam agreed, after a brief look at me "have a good time."

He left a hand on my waist and led me outside as everyone started coupling up to dance along the slow, romantic music.

I tried very hard to tune out that particular song.

We stepped out into the crisp, clean air and I shuddered. It was late May, but it still felt like winter to me. It was a clear, brilliant starlit hue above us. I had never seen it like this before. A perfect night to have the reception out-doors. I wondered why Emily and I didn't think of that.

Jacob and I just stood there silently, like statues, staring up at the sky. Neither of spoke a word for precisely about fifteen minutes and then Jacob turned to me.

"Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you dance with me?"

"I faced him and saw that he wasn't joking. Infact, he looked serious.

I sucked in a deep breath. What the hell, I've slow danced before. And the splinters of my heart broke into smaller fragments as the flashback filled my head, as vivid as if it were real. I furiously blinked the tears away and shook myself free from the memory of my last prom.

"Alright Jakey, whatever."

He couldn't suppress how he felt at hearing me say 'Jakey' again. It had been a long time since I used that nickname.

The moon bathed both Jake and I in silvery pale light. To my utmost surprise, it came about naturally, having Jacob holding me and swaying us back and forth; no awkwardness involved in the equation. He was very sweet, we were deaf to the music coming from inside yet he pulled me in to dance to silence. It was the only time since…..then that I felt nearly close enough to heaven. Jacob was not heaven exactly, but more like my safe haven, my harbor.

"Bella, I'm so sorry," his lips brushed against my forehead.

A lump rose in my throat, "you don't have to be," I said lamely.

His warm finger traced patterns on my cheek "every morning I wake up," he sighed, "there's not a day….I don't hate myself for doing this to you." I had never heard his voice so passionately sad. His tears broke through.

I wanted to comfort him but what could I say? That it was okay? That I could be completely and incandescently content with him? That I loved having this baby inside me and we were all going to be a nice, happy family? Those lies would only hurt him all the more. Jacob saw right through me. It was impossible to hide what I truly felt from him.

"I love you, you know," was all I could whisper.

His lips came down softly on mine for the smallest second "just not enough to be happy, Bella."

I sighed, of course he knew. How could he not see?

"I'll promise you this though: I'm not going to be selfish. After you…give birth, I'll let you go. I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do. But as long as you want me, Bella, as long…as you want me, I'm always going to be around."

I buried my face in his chest, weeping quietly. There were no words needed to explain what I wanted to say to that.

**A/N: Hmmm….was that cheesy? Please tell me if it was…I don't want to bore anyone...or get them sick.**

**But whatever your opinion is, please leave a review so I'll know! And if you don't like it, can you please try to tell me that as politely as possible?**

**Sorry if it's not as good a chapter as you expected V;( I tried my best.**

**Xoxo**


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